bebe de la isla II

I'm so over her. I can't stand her being so worried about nothing and keeping her secrets from my brother and I. I'm sick of her coming to me when she's sad and needs support. I'm tired of hearing her saying horrible things about family and whoever else she can tear apart. I'm disgusted by the fact that she thinks she can tell me to be nice to her and say "nice things" to her only because of her "sensitiveness". I'm sick of her "a little too many" nights. I'm done with her forgetting things like to get my medication or my brother's insulin. I hate how she's been self-diagnosed with ADD.

I want her to go and get help. I know she isn't healed from whatever happened between her and charlie or her and her mother or sisters or teachers or who ever hurt her. I just wish she knew that her doubts and bad feelings were something to really take into consideration before getting married and having kids. I don't understand how she didn't once think that maybe she wasn't ready to get married, that it was too soon, or to have her own children. She needs to take a step back and do a recap or something. She needs to really think about what has happened and learn from it.

I wish I could tell her but if I can sit next to her while she's crying with my fist clenched waiting for her to say something so I could hit her, then there's no way in hell I could possibly bring this up to her. And I know I only react that way because I can be weak too, and I hate it. I see myself in her and I can't stand it. But what the fuck should I expect? To be a completely different person from my mother? Fuck no. I've lived with her for 16 years, of course I'm going to be somewhat like her. I need to get over it.

I just want someone I can go to that I know wont break when I'm a mess. Or at least keep their cool until I leave the room or something.


/edit: i'm sorry.