who I know that I know, got off and walked to the kitchen and made myself a SHIT LOAD of fruit to eat (except I only cut up a ton of strawberries to eat along with my baby Gala Apple), and then I sat down and opened up this: The Vice Guide To Sex And Drugs And Rock And Roll.Within the first six pages of the book I've already stopped reading it and started writing this post that didn't even mention the book up until the very, very end of a sentence that is WAY too long. It's all with good intention though. I read about how Vice's editor, Suroosh Alvi went through a really horrible heroin addiction that was fairly similar to most heroin addictions, but at the end of his tribulations he was given Vice magazine and two best friends, Gavin McInnes and Shane Smith. I guess you could say he's the founder of the mag but they haven't really specified that within the whole six pages of reading (really five and a half pages) but whatever, it's the three of them and bunch of other people who've pulled favors and such that have made the magazine everything that it is today. Anyways, I'm reading the introduction and it's got a bunch of crazy shit and blah blah blah, I giggle but it's nothing too insane that I haven't heard nor witnessed before so I'm chill, BUT THEN I get to "On Amma" which blew my fucking mind. It was an account given by Shane Smith and Gavin McInnes about this girl Amma, who they met through their printer guy who told them about how disgusting he thought she was. They state how they "were like robots after his stories" and just kept repeating, "Must...have...her, must...have...her." So, they set up a Vice shoot and got together that night. They ended up fucking her on a regular basis in a porn booth and at their office. But the prime elements of this account is their really awkward orgy...
"Gavin McInnes: One time we were fucking her and Shane was lying on his back, and I couldn't get anywhere because they were like a sandwich. There was nowhere for me, and I knew it wouldn't fit in her bum because we had all tried that and it didn't go. But I was like, 'Oh, I can get it in there if I really go for it.' It was like fitting an elephant into a phone booth. So I'm pushing and pushing and then it just goes 'bloooooooooink'—right in—and Shane's stroking her hair going, 'It's ok, it's okay...'That is the farthest I've gotten in the book and I was bent over the armrest of the couch laughing mah motha fuckin' ass off at 8:00 in the morning. This is what being an oddball, a black sheep, an outcast, a free spirit, a freak, an individual, a misfit, and a member of the counterculture, is ALL about.
Shane Smith: And she goes, 'Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuh...yeaaah.'
Gavin McInnes: She never used to like that so I was confused. Then I look down at her asshole and I'm like, 'Look at that beautiful pink assho... hey, wait a minute. How come I can see the asshole? I thought I was in the asshole.' And then I feel down and I have a condom on, and I'm like, 'What is this? I didn't have a condom on when I went into her ass.' Then I realized I pushed so hard I forced my dick into Shane's condom with Shane's dick and we were both in her vagina. I was so horny I almost kept going but it was a bit too homo to be penis-rubbing like that."
Top Billin' - "Hands In The Air Like What The Fuck" Mix (60 mins)
Leif - "Glossy Pop"
(http://www.myspace.com/leif )
- Mary J. Blige - “Be Without You” (acappella)
- Bjork - “Earth Intruders” (drums)
- Lil Mama - “Lip Gloss”
- Justin Timberlake - “My Love” (instrumental)
- [Clipse - “Wamp Wamp” (acappella)]
- Trina - “Told Y’all” (acappella)
- The Knife - “Heartbeats”
( http://www.myspace.com/leif )
- White Stripes - “Seven Nation Army”
- 20 Fingers - “Short Dick Man” (acappella)
- Leif - “Don’t Touch My Hair” (instrumental)
- Spank Rock - “Put That Pussy On Me” (acappella)
- Peaches - “Shake Yer Dix” (acappella)
- Protman - “130dart”
(myspace.com/bromontana)
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