Yeah. Hi. Hey. Sorry, it has been so long.

At least it seems to have been a long time since I've spoken to you somewhat-anonymous folk. Oh, speaking of speaking to anonymous people, writing blogs gives me the same feeling as did praying when I was little. I would lay in bed on my back reciting the "Our Father" or some morbid rhyme that was drilled into my brain since birth (i.e. Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the lord my soul to keep; And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take), and knew that all this talking wasn't doing me any good since I never experienced any kind of random sense of relief or what some call "luck" in a time of need. I figured the only reason why I felt good after "praying" for 30 minutes was because I just said all that was on my mind without any hesitation. So, for me, praying was really just me talking to myself and having a healthy stream of consciousness. 

Also, as a kid I never named my stuff animals. I tried to but it never worked. I would constantly forget their names because I would put so much thought into picking the right name and when I finally was content with the name I would feel stupid calling a stuffed seal "Cornelius". I dropped the naming of stuffed creatures pretty fast and took up dancing around my room naked and giving my barbie dolls mohawks and pushing their faces in. After that I advanced to body glitter, water balloons for boobs, and getting as many scars as I possibly could. When I was younger I wasn't necessarily a tomboy but I was definitely not into wearing pink, nor playing "Missed me! Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me!". I fucking hated that game and every other boys vs girls game. I would much rather sit on the tire swing and just kick it with people who thought I was their friend but really was just hanging with them so I wouldn't be alone. I stopped doing that when a couple of the kids would swing me to fast on the tire swing so that I'd get stuck leaning backwards and almost fly off. I guess they caught on to me using them, or something.

This post definitely did not start off heading the direction I intended it too but that's okay. Sort of. Let me try to get back on track...

REASONS AS TO WHY I HAVE NOT POSTED ANYTHING IN QUITE A FEW MOONS:

• I've been making dolls.
• I have begun to paint again.
• Social life is no longer hibernating and has begun to flourish once again.
• Dreams that cause me to wake crying and hallucinations of pythons biting me are the manifestations of all my repressed emotions. 
• Trying to find the patterns of my past in order to create some sort of rough draft of my present and future.
• Therapy
• Trying to understand an incredibly complex personality but becoming more and more confused each time I speak to him. 

This is incomplete and the glitter shit fucked it all up so ignore the glitter. I'm currently fixing it.